PhenoAge

What doesn't measure your bounce-back better than a built-in biological scoreboard? Of course, life is a marathon, not a sprint, even if you've decided to give up sugar for sixty days. "PhenoAge is my new best friend, right after green juice. It's validating all the battle scars I’ve conquered."

Consider this your quarterly performance review for how close you are to winning the never-ending stay-alive game. You'll have those KPIs for your physical wellness dialed in no time. "The latest PhenoAge update just came in. If my health is a company, consider it primed for an IPO."

Ah, metrics that promise to quantify how long you’ll be avoiding the inevitable. Make sure you've asked at least six experts before diving into that rabbit hole. "It’s interesting you mentioned PhenoAge, but perhaps it’s best discussed over a tea, with a few disclaimers attached."